What is Relationship Anxiety? And How You can Heal
What is relationship anxiety?
Relationship anxiety occurs when you experience significant stress and doubts about a healthy partnership that result in considerable distress for the anxious person.
Anyone can experience relationship anxiety, and it can occur in a number of forms. Most commonly, the anxiety manifests as worrying about whether your current partner is the "one" or you're with the "right" partner. To just list a few, this could look like:
Monitor your emotions while you're around them. If you aren't feeling "blissful" enough, you may feel anxious.
Doubting your attraction to them or being attracted "enough."
Comparing your relationship to what you see on social media, and become anxious if your partner doesn't fit what you perceive from others
This can exacerbate or create a feeling of insecurity in your relationship, leading you to doubt your partner's affection for you. You may also become worried that something is "wrong," even if there isn't anything that appears "wrong." You may become terrified of abandonment and fear that your partner is cheating on you or lying to you despite little evidence.
Common behaviors include:
Seeking reassurance from your friends and family that your relationship is "ok."
Nitpicking or focusing on the negative aspects of your partnership, attempting to "get" them to do certain things or change parts of their personality that don't fit your ideal partner (then if your partner obliges to these changes, still finding other things "wrong")
Becoming overly accommodating in your relationship, making space for their preferences over yours
Failing to communicate emotions, desires, and preferences
Feeling nervous or anxious around your partner, anxiety about feeling the "right" things, such as love, admiration, or fun
If this is you, I want you to know you are not alone! Relationship anxiety is widespread and, despite famous conjecture, does not automatically mean that your relationship is "bad." Like the presence of any anxiety, there is a part of you that needs your love and attention and has a message for you to understand and know. I understand this may feel scary to you- listening to that part of you.
How to Heal Relationship Anxiety
Relationship anxiety can feel overwhelming and complex. Here are some holistic solutions for your relationship anxiety
Make sure you invest as much time in yourself as you do in your relationship. That includes self-care, walking, exercising regularly, and spending time with friends and family.
Have regular and open communication with your partner. While sharing every aspect of your relationship anxiety with your partner may not be appropriate, inviting them into your emotional experience is part of being in a relationship.
Seek a therapist who understands where you are coming from and who can help you explore the source of your anxiety, build relationships with vulnerable parts of you who need love and support, and explore your assumptions about what love "should" look and feel like.
Anxiety sucks, and there is hope. Relationship anxiety is terrifying, and there is hope that you can experience the profound love that you have dreamed of!
If this sounds like you and you don't know where to start, I would like to direct you to my free download, "How to Stop Overthinking"! It's a gift for those who are struggling with persistent anxiety.
If you want to learn more about working with me, check out my About page or reach out for a free thirty-minute consultation!
